Friday November 19: Tea For Three

I'm really a coffee (well Redbull) person but last Thursday I took my Mom and one of her oldest and closest friend (the first she made when she moved to Canada) to tea at the Windsor Arms.  It was a bit of an early birthday celebration since they also share the same birthday (November 29th).

There was a fireplace, scones, mini sandwiches, very puffy couches and petit fours (there was also some oddly menacing music playing), but only for the last half hour.  It was nice and made me wish that Mad Men could successfully and fully bring back gloves and hats for everyone.

My mother is 58 this month.  I'm 35.

I think about at this often, not our ages (well that's not true since I constantly think about mine - a whole separate post).  But what I marvel at is that she had me at 23, exactly a year after having an arranged marriage (a topic I often write about) and moving to Canada. In January.

The age of motherhood debate is hot topic.  What's too old, too young, and the eternal question of: is there a perfect time?  I've considered this topic from a professional angle at the MomShift and my own anxieties at becoming a mother at the in-between age of 29 is what prompted my second book.  I'll also freely admit that as tough as it probably was for her at 23, I selfishly like having a mother that is still on the young side.

The average age of mothers is going up - this is not new and I anecdotally know 5 women who are having their first babies and are over 40.   I personally think the entire "debate" on the age of motherhood is pointless, each person's life is different, there is no "right" way to do things (though reading some mommy blogs would have you think otherwise) and in the end, its all just about a series of different choices.

And as awe struck as I am at my Mother's story, I know its not unique. I know lots of friends with mothers who had them at 21, 22 or 23 and sort of fit them into everything else that was happening from immigrating to new countries, returning to school or starting businesses.

But in an age when everything to do parenthood and motherhood seems so overwhelming, when every little decision is completely overanalyzed (I'm not saying I don't do it but I realize how privileged and naval gazing it is) - I constantly wonder what she and her friends, (all women who cheerfully coped and got with having families as just something you did, along with everything else),  really think of all our earnest (and probably futile) efforts.

My guess?  Is that they're having a justified laugh, behind our backs.  /rs

Wednesday November 15: When R Is Away...

R is away in India - at the first annual Canada-India Business Forum.  It lasts two days,  but he's gone for over two weeks.

Normally, I don't mind when he travels, which is good because he always seems to be heading somewhere.

Yes, the kids slowly become more and more fractious as the time passes (R seems to have a calming influence on them) but I like having the house to myself (well, as much as possible with a 5 and 2 year old with me), I dig out sweatpants (versus their better looking cousin the yoga pant), I eat cereal for dinner (Just Right with a touch of Froot Loops). And generally just go back to a more essential Me.

But even better than having the house to myself is having my Mom with me.  Which is my current set up.

This means: not much work gets done (she has that effect) but, both of us with the kids also means: lots of laughing, lots of walking, lots of talking and gossip (old and new), and lots of delicious food.

And no, she's not the only one cooking, Saturday night I went here for amazing jumbo wild scallops (so fresh you wanted to eat them raw) which I served with an avocado and warm vinegrette salad).

It also means my house looks clean, I had a Friday night dinner out with the ladies on my street (can I just say Korean food gets beef?) and I discovered the wonder of Soju infused drinks - a must try, especially with ginger which makes it taste healthy and yummy.

We also plan special treats for the kids: this week a day off for Seth from school and instead, some real learning at the Science Center where i saw what I'd look like in 30 years (terrifying) and learned that I was made up of 30 litres of water....

Monday September 19th: Cosy

The house feels cosy tonight.  R downstairs writing, both boys sleeping and me in bed.

It's also just my kinda night.

Cool autumn air, rain, for me it feels like promise, opportunity and that good things will (knock on wood) hopefully happen.   It must be left over from years of back to school resolutions and plans.

When I first started this blog, it felt like a chore.  But now, I'm getting into it.  I actually got up, went upstairs to my study to get my laptop and here I am.

Another book launch today, a memoir by a man I adore and admire: The Honourable Roy McLaren, a man who's done everything from being a sailor, diplomat, an uber successful businessman, a writer (this is his 7th book) , politician and cabinet minister.  And who's been married for 52 years to a woman with story as interesting as his and style that is pure 1920's Paris chic that looks incredible anywhere, anytime.

These kinds of parties always make me wonder, will this be us 40 or 50 years from now?  Can we also be that lucky to still so engaged, producing and working, travelling, and still look so good? Usually my worries are focused on where I will be at 40 - a dangerous age for women I've decided.  But occasionally I think further.

Today I am:

• Worried about eating/drinking too much sugar (white wine again!); 
• Reminding myself not be afraid to just move forward versus seeking refuge in the process or planning; 
• Determined to focus on positive energy on my goals. 
• Had a moment of being overwhelmed by a crushing love for my boys. 

Monday July 4th: Playing Catch Up

Watching Cars 2

Time is moving fast.  Too fast.  And the goal of one blog post a day doesn't seem to be happening, but this is the catch up post.

Long weekend spent in Sarnia (where we still are) and where its about food.  Lots and lots of food.  And pacing, puttering, snacking and chatting.   A very relaxing combo.

This is less of a blog post and more a laundry list of activities, but still, it better than nothing and so, highlights from the weekend & week include:

• A great trip to the library where we've been enjoying The Robert Munch collection; 
• Catch up drinks with an old colleague at Ciao Wine bar (which gave me new idea on what to do with the slate tiles falling off my roof);
• Seth channeling his lord of the flies vibe with torn pj's and face covered in marker; 
• Annual meet up with my cousin who I hadn't seen since her wedding (featuring Ravi's chicken wings); 
• Annual Canada 1 party and late night drive to Sarnia. 

On a weekend that is all about food it's wrong not to highlight some of the best dishes:

• Home food which is Indian food: yum.  Parantha's.
• Home made carmelized onion, rosemary and potato pizza; 
• Green risotto; 
• BBQ chicken, edamame with radish, potato salad; 

Other activity highlights include:

• A waterside run, a lake swim and then a campari and soda on the deck; 
• Late night reading (Adrian Mole: The Prostate Years); 
• Taking Seth to see Cars 2 (which deserves a blog post of it's own). 

It's worth saying, I don't know how my Mom does it, three amazing meals a day, a house that exudes calm and elegance.  And she never seems tired or cranky, quite the opposite of me.