Tuesday November 29th: In Which I Seek Help....

Most anyone who has or does know me can make a fairly credibly case for me needing help on any number of fronts.

And while I readily acknowledge this, I've never actually had any sort of therapy or coaching.  Not even a fitness trainer.

No deep reason really.  Just the realization that most of my problems and issues are fairly banal (which I now appreciate is a huge blessing) and can be dealt with my journal, Bikram or a chat & bottle with friends.  I'm also cheap and listening to Anthony Robbins downloads usually seemed sufficient.

But I've also always been hesitant about committing to paying someone to listen me - the pressure to come up with something good to talk about seems stressful.  Sort of like people who tidy before the cleaning lady comes.

And while I confess to hugely enjoying the narcissism of first and second dates, I always tended to flag by the third - which is always what I thought would happen with therapy.

But, today I had a first date with my new career coach.

Why now?  Well in retrospect 2011 on the career front it was a bit of meh year.

And since I have much higher hopes for 2012 I figure some professional coaching might help me get the results I want.

But lets see, I'll keep you posted on whether I make it to the third date. /rs

Thursday September 22: Less Sleep, More Zen?

For the past two months, or maybe more, I have trying to make myself get up at 5:30 am.

The extra oh, two hours a day of child free work time, would have a huge impact on what I can get done, and when. Plus, an early start apparently means a more productive rest of your day.

But so far, I haven't managed more than two days in a row at all.

What's strange is that in the past, I used to do this.  For writing my first book, to make sure I went to hot yoga before work so what's wrong now??

Anyway, I just discovered this site, so maybe I'll try some of the tips....

Today I:

• Loved my jivamukti class, live music, chanting, I think its the best part of my week. I also discovered a 6:30 am class not far from the house, can I do it?
• Was oddly excited by the spur of the moment $65.00 H&M outfit I bought this afternoon and wore to curriculum night at the school today (see below for the picture); 
• Enjoyed some post yoga birchermusli from Movinpick - I love this stuff. 

I was devastated to read this story about the death of this poor little boy.  Sometimes it seems like every cliche about the cruelty of the world, the potential heartbreak of being a parent or just being here on earth seems so true its overwhelming. And calls into question, why we do most of what we do in the wake of it all, if that makes any sense. 

Ps. just as I typed that sentence my 5 y/o (who isn't yet asleep) came to give me a hug. Which somehow makes it all more emotional.  

Saturday September 10: Accountability

Its a weekend and its beautiful out, although still hotter than I like it.  My weather is when its cool, crisp, "sweater weather" as girls at my old high-school used to always say in their year books.

Everyone was exhausted from a week of new schools, daycares and routines - which meant R& I actually got to sleep in till 9:30 and its been a lazy day so far.  Papers on the deck, Starbucks, a plan to go to the museum that I hope to realize on.

But even with the weekend what's going on is that I've been thinking about accountability, not in the public or political sense of the word.  But personally. Where I've realized that I think I need to better hold myself accountable for what I need to do and deliver on.  Right now, I'm feeling like the year has raced by and I'm not sure what I've done with it.

Do you ever have that?

I've decided that I need to get more specific about what needs to be done by when and actually deliver it by then - always the challenge when you're working for yourself.

But a Must.

Favorite moment today: A singing his "daddy daddy" song.

Summer Love vs. September To Do's...

Can you work with your Mom around?  I can't.  And it's for the nicest possible reason, when my little Mom comes to visit or vice versa, its like an emotional and mental blanket.  Everything seems like it will be ok, and some of the general stress about what I need to be doing, should be doing or should have already done, slightly dims. That conversation in your or at least my head.

But only dims slightly, but then I become caught in this very ineffective cycle where I want to be just sitting and chatting or shopping and walking or laughing with the kids, but I also feel like I should be working and Getting Stuff Done.  Because otherwise, where is my life going and who am I? So I have computer open or lug notebooks of projects with me and leave them unpacked and ignored.

I thought of all of this over the weekend, since my wonderful little Mom has come down to help Seth and Avery move to their new schools (and really help me manage it all).

We went to the park, made muffins, made brownies, organized closets and rejoiced in my 2 year olds adorable chatter.  And talked, and laughed and chatted.  And at the back of my mind I thought of the ebook that needs to be finished, the sponsorship that I need to sort out and the list goes on and on.

I also watched this TED talk on the power of being cheerful as we journey towards our goals versus delaying our happiness for when those goals are achieved and read this article on the habits of ineffective people and resolved that I will get it all done, calmly and cheerfully but while she is here I will be enjoying what you see below.