Most anyone who has or does know me can make a fairly credibly case for me needing help on any number of fronts.
And while I readily acknowledge this, I've never actually had any sort of therapy or coaching. Not even a fitness trainer.
No deep reason really. Just the realization that most of my problems and issues are fairly banal (which I now appreciate is a huge blessing) and can be dealt with my journal, Bikram or a chat & bottle with friends. I'm also cheap and listening to Anthony Robbins downloads usually seemed sufficient.
But I've also always been hesitant about committing to paying someone to listen me - the pressure to come up with something good to talk about seems stressful. Sort of like people who tidy before the cleaning lady comes.
And while I confess to hugely enjoying the narcissism of first and second dates, I always tended to flag by the third - which is always what I thought would happen with therapy.
But, today I had a first date with my new career coach.
Why now? Well in retrospect 2011 on the career front it was a bit of meh year.
And since I have much higher hopes for 2012 I figure some professional coaching might help me get the results I want.
But lets see, I'll keep you posted on whether I make it to the third date. /rs
On my 35th birthday I decided to commit to this one year experiment: a blog where I try to capture all the little things that actually make up my life and but that get lost and forgotten in all my anxiety about what's next, what’s not done and what I should be doing...lets see how and where it goes...
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Saturday, 26 November 2011
Saturday November 26: Whatever Happened To My So Called Career?
Well, yes this is a question I sometimes especially when I struggle (usually drink in hand) to explain my current portfolio career to some person I just met. It's the only time I miss the simple answer of "I'm a lawyer."
Really, though its the title of fantastic lecture that R has given at the LSE, at the Cass Business School and yesterday, at the Munk School of Global Affairs.
A fully unbiased review (of course) R was fantastic, funny, informative and inspiring. I can say that I wasn't married to meet him, after hearing him yesterday, I would be looking to meet him...
After they intro'd him and his accomplishments, he opened by sharing his own ballsy story of graduating from Queens into the brutal Canadian recession of the 1990's, working temp jobs that he was serially fired from (for giving them advice on how to improve - classic, no?), to going to LSE with only enough money for his first semester and then starting a consulting boot camp for students, getting his job offer from Roland Berger and then taking that letter to the bank to borrow the rest of the years tuition.
I've heard the story before, but each time I do, I get filled with a wave of straight up respect for the man.
I've heard the story before, but each time I do, I get filled with a wave of straight up respect for the man.
He also shared career insights that apply whether you're just starting out like the audience of graduate students in the room, thinking about a career shift or switch or something that's somewhere in between.
Below are my top 5 lessons from his talk.
Funny side note: at one point he mentioned that his wife was in the audience (and I sort half waved because really what's the right response to that?) and I heard the boy next to me whisper to his friend: "Why is his wife taking notes?"
Because I learned or (re-learned) so much listening to him, including:
1. Your Career Is Happening Right Now For years I suffered from this - the idea that "my real" career would happen sometime in the future and the rest of this was just temporary. Whether you're a student, or mat leave or in a job where you are just killing time or paying the bills. This right now is your career, you are in it.
2. Beware of the Myth of The Perfect Career: R used the Churchill description of how most people, even the most successful among us are actually operating on a day to day basis in dense fog. You don't really know what's ahead so all you can do is make the best decision possible with what's in front of you. It's only after, in retrospect that dots are connected to create a narrative. And then, when we read or hear about someone's career story, we're led to believe that they had this perfect plan which is what led to these impressive outcomes. Yes, of course you need an idea of where you want to go, but don't worry about having the great plan or be intimidated by someone else's seemingly flawless career story or path. You just don't hear all the messy parts that get skipped over when the story is being re-written.
3. Remember The Newspaper Test: We buy lots of papers in our house, the Times, The FT, The Globe and each weekend, it re-affirms the newspaper test which is: what sections do you always reach for first? And why? Odds are it hasn't changed for the past decade. The idea of the newspaper test is not to say that if you always go for the sports section, you should now drop it all and become a sports agent. The Newspaper Test is a reminder to remain aware of your true interests. The further your career falls from them the harder it will be to sustain the passion.
4. Don't Become a Victim of Your Lesser Talents: Ten years ago, I walked away from Bay Street law job at a national firm. I'd worked hard. And for a 25 year old, there was a seemingly large amount of money at stake, a career I had professed to want (and spent 3 years studying for), along with status and certainty that came with the job. Deciding to leave was both the hardest and easiest thing I've ever done. It was hard for all the reasons above. It was easy because after a year and half spent summering and articling I realized that I would never actually be a very good lawyer. I could stay, keep working on it but as Peter Drucker first pointed out, I would spending 90% of my efforts trying to get 10% better at something I wasn't great at (or interested in).
Alternatively, I could leave and finding the area where 10% of my efforts would make me excellent. And happy.
Alternatively, I could leave and finding the area where 10% of my efforts would make me excellent. And happy.
5. Who You Marry Matters: A key point in from my last book, that who you marry matters since it impacts every part of your life - including your career. Why? Because it shapes where you live, your networks, how your interests and values evolve and from that the career decisions you make.
It's nice to have an affirmation on mine. /rs
Labels:
career,
events,
life lessons,
the husband
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
Summer Love vs. September To Do's...
Can you work with your Mom around? I can't. And it's for the nicest possible reason, when my little Mom comes to visit or vice versa, its like an emotional and mental blanket. Everything seems like it will be ok, and some of the general stress about what I need to be doing, should be doing or should have already done, slightly dims. That conversation in your or at least my head.
But only dims slightly, but then I become caught in this very ineffective cycle where I want to be just sitting and chatting or shopping and walking or laughing with the kids, but I also feel like I should be working and Getting Stuff Done. Because otherwise, where is my life going and who am I? So I have computer open or lug notebooks of projects with me and leave them unpacked and ignored.
I thought of all of this over the weekend, since my wonderful little Mom has come down to help Seth and Avery move to their new schools (and really help me manage it all).
We went to the park, made muffins, made brownies, organized closets and rejoiced in my 2 year olds adorable chatter. And talked, and laughed and chatted. And at the back of my mind I thought of the ebook that needs to be finished, the sponsorship that I need to sort out and the list goes on and on.
I also watched this TED talk on the power of being cheerful as we journey towards our goals versus delaying our happiness for when those goals are achieved and read this article on the habits of ineffective people and resolved that I will get it all done, calmly and cheerfully but while she is here I will be enjoying what you see below.
But only dims slightly, but then I become caught in this very ineffective cycle where I want to be just sitting and chatting or shopping and walking or laughing with the kids, but I also feel like I should be working and Getting Stuff Done. Because otherwise, where is my life going and who am I? So I have computer open or lug notebooks of projects with me and leave them unpacked and ignored.
I thought of all of this over the weekend, since my wonderful little Mom has come down to help Seth and Avery move to their new schools (and really help me manage it all).
We went to the park, made muffins, made brownies, organized closets and rejoiced in my 2 year olds adorable chatter. And talked, and laughed and chatted. And at the back of my mind I thought of the ebook that needs to be finished, the sponsorship that I need to sort out and the list goes on and on.
I also watched this TED talk on the power of being cheerful as we journey towards our goals versus delaying our happiness for when those goals are achieved and read this article on the habits of ineffective people and resolved that I will get it all done, calmly and cheerfully but while she is here I will be enjoying what you see below.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)



