June 2: 4 Years

The thing about parenting is that it's just all cliches.

Today's example - how different Avery and Seth (and soon Biddle) are.

Avery at 4: has a total sense of his own style (backwards shorts, spiderman boots, a bowtie and t-shirt are a daily outfit); loves cooking, used to love Barney, is always trying to keep up with the big kids on our street, will do just about anything for a popsicle or chocolate egg, loves cooking, pretending to be Harry Potter, is into painting. 

I worry about him being a bit too classic middle child - caught between wanting to keep up with older brother and wanting the attention of the baby.

But Avery is a genuine original.  Unconcerned about what other people, teachers and kids think, he does is thing.

Avery is four!

Random life

Going for Dosas.

Hanging. 

Growing. 

Tuesday January 8:

 A flashback to the Christmas vacation: 

This year Seth watched Home Alone for the first time - so this house took on a new meaning.

Sledding on our local hill. 

December 29th: Daily Devan

December 26th: How It Really Is

A snapshot of Sarnia vacation time- raw.

December 25th: Christmas

Christmas was: Sarnia, non stop pj's, R doing complicated lego. Snow. 

Lots of presents but no tree at Nonny's 

Avery Shovelling 

The boys try bowling 

September 30: Weekend

Specifics and details (the who's, when's and where's) vary but there are a few common elements to most of our weekends.

They include: red wine and some cooking.

Roasted beet, roasted squash with spinach salad

The ROM, the park, and lots of newspapers.

The boys at the ROM & the 3D Dino puzzle we struggled with

Often baked goods come into play and then when icing ends up everywhere and no one eats anything else I make the usual vow that this is the last time I'm doing this.

For the record, its actually no one's birthday - but we just like candles, because fire and sugar together are where its at.

Monday December 4th: The Anniversary Post Script

Expectation and lived reality usually differ, but this is especially true when kids, particularly your own kids are involved.

And so it was, with the long awaited "Anniversary Weekend."

The hotel was booked, complete with a couples massage, a bottle of champagne and a late dinner reservation.  I had even vaguely floated the idea of buying something suitably cliche and lacy - I didn't get around to it of course, but anyway... it turns out it was just as well.

By Friday at 1am both boys have hacking coughs which soon morph into vomit.  Ugh.  Cue R and I spending the rest of the night changing sheets, getting water, dispensing cough medicine and bitching about who did the last round and who is doing more (me clearly).

Saturday morning dawns and we're both cranky.  It's also clear that no one, not even (or especially) family should be asked to cope with a second night like that. Plus, the boys would go crazy if we left them overnight somewhere when they're sick.  Only the dinner reservations can be changed without a fee - so we're stuck with a hotel room (literally around corner from our house) and the spa appointment. 

All is not lost however.  My sister in law comes to stay with the kids while we have our massage (R falls asleep in exhaustion, I think about making soup for their coughs).  We go home, we take the kids with us to the hotel - I optimistically bill it as a holiday family sleepover, yeah!

So instead of champagne, we take turns swigging a half bottle of average red wine from the hotel mini bar (the boys are putting animals in the glasses), the dinner plan becomes eating the kids leftover pizza with a McDonald's sundaes.  The kids are loving it though: the tv is bigger! The bed is bigger! You can see into other people's rooms!

We all pile into the bed.  Twenty minutes later, Avery is sick everywhere.

All the towels get used up as we try and mop up the mess.  I open the window and crack a couple of mini bottles, we take more sips in between cleaning up the bed, the children and ourselves. I hope I have enough cash on me for a serious tip.

We do a second round of baths.              Everyone collapses in exhaustion.

There is no glamour in this I think.

The morning brings room service and with it a slightly happier family.

So it was not at all what I'd planned.

But it was a reminder for me that relationships are not actually about the big planned events, but somehow finding fun in the tedium of the everyday, with someone that you can hopefully look across a pile of rancid towels at 2 am and think, I'm glad its him.

Even if it takes the help of a few small bottles to source that kind of zen. /rs

Wednesday November 15: When R Is Away...

R is away in India - at the first annual Canada-India Business Forum.  It lasts two days,  but he's gone for over two weeks.

Normally, I don't mind when he travels, which is good because he always seems to be heading somewhere.

Yes, the kids slowly become more and more fractious as the time passes (R seems to have a calming influence on them) but I like having the house to myself (well, as much as possible with a 5 and 2 year old with me), I dig out sweatpants (versus their better looking cousin the yoga pant), I eat cereal for dinner (Just Right with a touch of Froot Loops). And generally just go back to a more essential Me.

But even better than having the house to myself is having my Mom with me.  Which is my current set up.

This means: not much work gets done (she has that effect) but, both of us with the kids also means: lots of laughing, lots of walking, lots of talking and gossip (old and new), and lots of delicious food.

And no, she's not the only one cooking, Saturday night I went here for amazing jumbo wild scallops (so fresh you wanted to eat them raw) which I served with an avocado and warm vinegrette salad).

It also means my house looks clean, I had a Friday night dinner out with the ladies on my street (can I just say Korean food gets beef?) and I discovered the wonder of Soju infused drinks - a must try, especially with ginger which makes it taste healthy and yummy.

We also plan special treats for the kids: this week a day off for Seth from school and instead, some real learning at the Science Center where i saw what I'd look like in 30 years (terrifying) and learned that I was made up of 30 litres of water....

Wed Nov 9: The School Walk

When I was pregnant with Seth, one of the images that stressed me out was the idea of being one of those Moms, always stuck in car, ferrying my kids around.  The "school run" is a new phenomenon (as is all the attendant modern day anxiety that goes with it) but leaving aside the ever pressing issue of what to wear, the tension and traffic that I've seen at our school, would make you learn ride a bike, that day, just to skip it. I've seen yelling and this is Rosedale.

We're lucky that we've always lived close enough to walk the kids to school (well a deliberate decision) since I don't drive in the city and we actually don't own a car but use this.  It works for me (though not always for R).  Or increasingly Seth.

But I've always loved walking around the city, and being downtown with the kids means there's always something to see, do, eat or talk about.
Plus, there's the bonus of an added workout.

The kids don't always walk though. Since I'm always running late, they travel in style in our red wagon, complete with a blanket, snacks, drinks and even leg room.  So really more then they would get on most flights today....

October 22: The Weekend

Over the weekend we had my 10 year nephew and 8 year niece sleep over.

The goal was to carve pumpkins, 4 were bought, one was carved.

Tacos were eaten along with my favourite retro desert - "mud" (Oreos, pudding and whipped cream) with candy body parts for season effect.  I couldn't find the usual gummy worms so I used "body part sushi" which tasted horrible (big surprise) but looked cool.

Then the TV and ipad both stopped working (I know what are the odds?) which made everything that much more exhausting, at least for me and R. 

Summer Love vs. September To Do's...

Can you work with your Mom around?  I can't.  And it's for the nicest possible reason, when my little Mom comes to visit or vice versa, its like an emotional and mental blanket.  Everything seems like it will be ok, and some of the general stress about what I need to be doing, should be doing or should have already done, slightly dims. That conversation in your or at least my head.

But only dims slightly, but then I become caught in this very ineffective cycle where I want to be just sitting and chatting or shopping and walking or laughing with the kids, but I also feel like I should be working and Getting Stuff Done.  Because otherwise, where is my life going and who am I? So I have computer open or lug notebooks of projects with me and leave them unpacked and ignored.

I thought of all of this over the weekend, since my wonderful little Mom has come down to help Seth and Avery move to their new schools (and really help me manage it all).

We went to the park, made muffins, made brownies, organized closets and rejoiced in my 2 year olds adorable chatter.  And talked, and laughed and chatted.  And at the back of my mind I thought of the ebook that needs to be finished, the sponsorship that I need to sort out and the list goes on and on.

I also watched this TED talk on the power of being cheerful as we journey towards our goals versus delaying our happiness for when those goals are achieved and read this article on the habits of ineffective people and resolved that I will get it all done, calmly and cheerfully but while she is here I will be enjoying what you see below.

Monday July 4th: Playing Catch Up

Watching Cars 2

Time is moving fast.  Too fast.  And the goal of one blog post a day doesn't seem to be happening, but this is the catch up post.

Long weekend spent in Sarnia (where we still are) and where its about food.  Lots and lots of food.  And pacing, puttering, snacking and chatting.   A very relaxing combo.

This is less of a blog post and more a laundry list of activities, but still, it better than nothing and so, highlights from the weekend & week include:

• A great trip to the library where we've been enjoying The Robert Munch collection; 
• Catch up drinks with an old colleague at Ciao Wine bar (which gave me new idea on what to do with the slate tiles falling off my roof);
• Seth channeling his lord of the flies vibe with torn pj's and face covered in marker; 
• Annual meet up with my cousin who I hadn't seen since her wedding (featuring Ravi's chicken wings); 
• Annual Canada 1 party and late night drive to Sarnia. 

On a weekend that is all about food it's wrong not to highlight some of the best dishes:

• Home food which is Indian food: yum.  Parantha's.
• Home made carmelized onion, rosemary and potato pizza; 
• Green risotto; 
• BBQ chicken, edamame with radish, potato salad; 

Other activity highlights include:

• A waterside run, a lake swim and then a campari and soda on the deck; 
• Late night reading (Adrian Mole: The Prostate Years); 
• Taking Seth to see Cars 2 (which deserves a blog post of it's own). 

It's worth saying, I don't know how my Mom does it, three amazing meals a day, a house that exudes calm and elegance.  And she never seems tired or cranky, quite the opposite of me.