Friday June 25th: Busy/Book CLub

Yesterday R & I had an amazing lunch, the food at Tutti Matti was fine (actually the deep fried chick peas in my salad were delicious) the Italian burger, just ok.

But the company was fantastic!  We had Parag & Ayesha  in town literally for the day, then back to NYC and onto London for them.  Wonderful conversation with non stop laughter (and we were only drinking sparkling water).

It was a day for chatting.  Lunch was followed by drinks with another friend from NYC who as in town, then I ran off to get the kids, who for the first time stayed with Brother (the ultimate in birth control) while R& I went for more drinks with Shashi Tharoor  who was in town for the IFFA's and then I went to my first ever book club meeting. 

We live on the worlds friendliest street and of course, it has a book club. Now, I'm an avid reader, and in past years have kept track of new books read, old ones revisited, but I've never interested in joining a book club.  Mostly because, I have people I talk books with and I just wasn't looking for more.

But I went to first ever meeting.  The book was a Lisa See novel (my first).  I love a good historical novel and this one is quick read, the main character is difficult to warm to but the cultural insight left me wondering how and if this view that: life is hard and that a mothers love is best shown through preparing her children for the struggles ahead currently manifests itself in Tiger Mother parenting? The most gripping parts of the book were the descriptions of the process behind foot binding, and the agony that it involved.

Anyway, its my kind of book club, lots of laughing, gossip and wine and in between a few comments on the book.

In the past,

Tuesday June 21: Post Party Hangover

On Saturday R & I had our combined 75 1/2 Birthday Party. 

About 60 people at the house, with fresh caipirinhas being mixed, mini cupcakes (of course) and my favorite part - the chance to wear a one piece black jumpsuit that I just bought from Guess. So 70's swinger, I loved it.

Actually even better than the outfit is that we had some amazing friends come in from New York, London and San Francisco which meant late nights laughing on our matchbox size 4th floor deck, sipping mezcal.

Random party highlights:

• "My name's Seth Sarkar, its a pleasure to meet you"
• "You say potato, I say aloo."
• All the amazing art that Cy hung up 
• A pantry with more champagne than food.

Friday June 17th: Credential Inflation?

I can only imagine what the Tiger Mother would think of this...but on Friday Seth "graduated" from daycare. 

Yup, another successful year completed.

The effort that the teachers had put in was impressive.   The kids sung songs, there was a reception and a video where they interviewed each child and asked them what they wanted to be.

An interesting note: the girls overwhelmingly wanted to be mommies and princesses and the boys? They wanted to be race cars. Not the driver, but the actual cars.  It was incredibly gendered.

But the parents got adorable graduation pictures of the kids in little hats and gowns (we have two now since Seth also "graduated" last year).  It was sweet, but as someone who didn't bother attending either my undergraduate or law school graduations, I couldn't help but raise a bit of an eyebrow at the whole thing.... 

Already Tuesday: June 14th

Today my 5 y/o scratched and bit me.

Not just in passing but he ran at me and attacked me.

The incident happened as we were attempting to get him and my 2 y/o out of the house and to nursery school in time for their music class (of course we were late) and only got there for the last song (featuring a bus stuck in the rain and an accordian).

Everything stopped for me.  It's disconcerting to see a small person be that angry.  

Full body, all encompassing rage.    The reason?  He didn't want to change out of his pjs. 

Sigh.   I have to find a kids yoga class for this one.

But on the upside, my brother a 31 year old traditional Chinese medicine doctor turned accountant arrived from Vancouver on Saturday to stay and work for R for the next 5 weeks. 

The kids and I are both thrilled.

Having a grown up relationship with your siblings and your kids is one of the best reasons I think to have a family.

Interesting discussions, mixed in with foolishness and jokes and from a shared place of understanding even though you might believe and want completely different things. 

Brother and I have already had all kinds of discussions on: careers (I want to remake how we view them;  he wants to slot in for the long haul in a company), religion (he believes, I ask for evidence), relationships (what works, what doesn't), politics (what went wrong on this last campaign his view/my experience) and like the best conversations, there's no real end or start but it just picks up and continues...

Friday June 10th: Teaching Failure

Two weeks ago, Seth my 5 y/o fell of his bike.

Since then, apart from riding it around the house he has refused to get back on.

Even with me offering to hold the back of the bike, re-assuring him he won't fall again (not really a false promise, since he's still got training wheels on) and reminding him over and over that everyone falls down when they're learning to ride bikes.  Yes, even the six year next door. And the 10 y/o down the street.

Fear of failure starts early. 

And as a parent, its horrible to see.  Especially when you're not sure where its coming from and you know that this really is one of the most important life skills you can give a person.

And so this weekend, the goal is getting him back on that bike and somehow feeling good about it...

Wednesday June 8: Figuring It Out

I'm not a blog virgin, but this project makes me feel like one.

 Currently, I write a weekly blog for my next book, I spent two years writing for another project, but both of those were easier, since what I was supposed to talk about was clear.

And I guess that's the whole idea of this project, the challenge of outwardly writing about my life.  But I'm so used to writing either on a specific topic or just ranting to and for myself (anxious recriminations on why its taking so long to get a project going or why I ate so many Quality Street toffees), that it becomes difficult to look beyond that.

But then who says I need full sentences or even real topics....in that spirit then:

Today, I: 

•  Took the boys to Indigo where they played with Thomas and we bought birthday presents for weekend ahead ( including a kit that lets you make a giant fort with sheets);
  
• Loved eating flatbread with cream cheese (straight from the container of course);
  
• Wore my new tan linen pants and black shirt from Jacob and
  
• Talked to Mom (while walking from R's office to the nursery) about parents who try and decide their kids lives for them. My take: how are they so confident they are right. Hers: Some kids just need more help and parents can at least suggest safe options.  Hmm.

Tuesday June 7th: Playing Catch Up

So trying to decide whether I need to move over the blog posts that I started elsewhere or just pick up the project from here...decisions...and can I just re-start the project with today as day one...

Anyway, while I figure that out, I read an article today at lunch that brought tears to my eyes (and no, that is not common for me), it was from the travel section of the weekend New York Times, a mother's reflection on taking a train trip with her two sons now in their twenties. 

Seth and Avery, my two are only 5 and 2 but it made me fast forward ahead and filled with all sorts of conflicted emotions, at the idea of them not being babies anymore, of me being that age, of getting to know them as adult people, of already seeing occasional snapshots of the men they will be, regret for all the times I'm impatient with them, when as every cliche correctly assures me this time is fleeting and precious.  It also made me want to take a year long family trip somewhere, ambitious since at the moment, other than road trips to see my parents, we haven't traveled much with our 2 y/o....